I am a sports fan! I look forward to March Madness, the NFL and NHL season. I have a closet full of gear. Jerseys, t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, gloves, and scarves. I have even spent hours looking for Packers helmets so my husband and I can “bonk” heads when a touch down is made and/or when we see a good play. I spend the off season thinking about smack-talk I can throw at the opposing team – even if they can’t hear me.
This year, I decided that I needed to change my eating habits and get healthy. As of this morning, I’m down 35 pounds! Feel free to celebrate with me! If you like, I can show you the dance I do when I step on the scale. I used to call it a filthy liar, now I talk dirty to it. I do not recommend doing this in front of anyone that may use it on you later in life. And by all means, ask me about the program I’m using! I’d love to share.
I can hear your brains working. You are wondering why I have put these two subjects together? Welcome to Sheri’s squirrel-like thinking!
Since we are entering football season, let me explain what Sunday’s look like at our house.
Sundays are always preplanned – what games we would watch live and which ones we would DVR and come back to later that night or even possibly the next day. I only have 14 waking hours with which to watch football per day. Football fans out there will understand. This also means thinking about bathroom breaks (commercials), pacing the beer drinking so that I can grab it after the bathroom break and planning the menu. I cannot stress this last one enough. Neither one of us wants to cook on Sunday; we have football to watch!
Do you remember your parents ever saying something similar to: “We don’t have fairies to clean our house, that means we need to do it?” (It’s hard to hear your mom when you are rolling your eyes so hard it effects your hearing.) I think about those fairies for hire any time I feel that I don’t have enough hands or time to do things I need to get done. Oh, I also loved the phrase “I’ve only got two hands.” Which, in my mind, implied that it was possible to have more than two functional hands. This would also be complete AWESOME! Can you imagine being a bartender with 3 or 4 hands? Forget Cocktail!
Okay, I’m back!
I don’t have a fairy for hire. I’m not sure if they are even a functional business anymore. Evidently, no one was hiring them. So, that means we either have something prepped or we are calling for delivery. I prefer the later. No cleaning the kitchen… dishes can be thrown away… I just sign my name and get food handed to me. What’s not to like?
In my crazy imagination I have it laid out like this:
Man in shadowy spot by a lamp post: Psst… Lady, did you order a pizza? (opens up trench coat to show me the pizza)
Me: How much? I only need a medium. Does it have onions on it? Everything needs onions.
Man: We’re running a deal: get a large at a medium price, you’re getting a large! with extra onion. And I got wings
Me: You know how much I love the wings!
Whoever thought of this is a genius!
My goto’s for football food are pizza and Chinese. This year I’m going to have to get a little creative. Being healthy and eating healthy are now my prime goal – “Uhn Uhn Uhn… not in my house!” Thank you Dikembe Mutombo! I have endless uses for that phrase.
That’s not say I can’t eat out, have food delivered, or even prep something that is just as footballish as any other Sunday. For example- there is a pizza place here, that delivers cauliflower pizza crust with vegan toppings. I know, it does not sound appealing at all. As a matter of fact, the first time I heard about it I thought the world was coming to an end. Why would anyone do that to a pizza?
In the fat burning stage of my health program I was limited in what I could eat. But, one day I was so hard up for pizza that I gave it a try and experienced a Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham-like moment. “I do, I do like vegan pizza on cauliflower pizza crust. And I will eat it in a box and I will eat them with a fox…”
I will be making other changes to how I eat this football season but they will all be with as much yumminess and ease than it was when I was unhealthy.
Your Advice from a Crazy lady: Embrace Dr. Seuss and his Green Eggs and Ham way of thinking! Something’s not yucky until you prove it!